10 Things Your Dog Might Say if it Could Talk

Oh, if only! Do you ever speak to your dog? Maybe you hope they’ll talk back? Or maybe they do talk back, just in their own very special doggy voice? Do you ever wonder what they’d say if they could speak your language? I certainly do! With their wagging tails and soul-filled eyes, I can only imagine the stories they’d share, if they could!

Maybe they’d tell us how much they despise it when we vacuum or that the cat gets on their nerves, or on the contrary, maybe they’d share how much they love us unconditionally. I know it, cue the “awws!”

While some breeds aren’t as vocal as others, most dogs would have plenty to say about their owners. In fact, it’s likely that the conversations between us would be never-ending! Here are some of the things your dog would likely say if it could talk!

“I Love You!”

Seems so simple, doesn’t it? If they could, dogs would likely express their affection for their owners vocally, every day. Since they use body language to communicate their needs instead, it can be hard to understand what they’re trying to say.

Rest assured, their love for you is BIG, and even though they can’t say those three little words, their actions lead the way. No matter how bad of a day you had, they love you unconditionally and do their best to show it, whether they eagerly await your return home from work or wag their tail and give you “doggy kisses.”

It’s what makes them such wonderful companions. And unlike a crummy ex-boyfriend or girlfriend, you can bet if they did say, “I love you,” they would absolutely mean it!

“Don’t Leave Me, Stay at Home!”

Okay, okay, don’t get too sappy just yet! In a world where adults have to make money to live (and pay for our canine cuties), we have to leave the house to go to work. Yes, separation anxiety is real for many dogs, but there are so many things we can do to keep them busy and happy while we’re away.

While our dogs might wonder why they can’t come with us (not realizing that they’d likely be bored out of their minds sitting in a cubicle), if they could talk, they’d probably let us know just how much they miss us when we’re gone, even if it’s only for a short while. Consider it a compliment, I say, as dogs are the most loyal of all, loving us for all the right reasons!

“Let Me Have Some of That Food!”

Sound familiar? How often does your dog sit at your feet during mealtime, giving you those sappy dog eyes or pawing at your leg for a scrap of leftover food? If they could vocalize their hunger (or favorite tasty treats), they’d likely tell you to hand over that steak or piece of chicken and let them sit at your table!

Yes, they’ll ultimately eat what you feed them in their doggy bowl, but with the smell of “people food” in the air, you can be sure they’ll let you know their preference. So while they’re thinking, “I want some of that, too,” we all know that not every table scrap is healthy for dogs (for a number of reasons.) Stay strong, canine parents! You’ve got this!

“Why Are You Dressing Me?”

Ah, this one might hurt just a bit for some of you! In your mind, your dog might look “cute as a button” in that hotdog Halloween costume you got them to wear around the neighborhood or that frilly outfit you put them in for family photos, but what is Fido really thinking?

Though some might argue their furry friends enjoy “dress up time,” most dogs might tell you they don’t, that is, if they could talk. Until then, maybe they express their disdain for your outfit choices in other ways – like with a side eye, blank stare, or silence.

Or, maybe you’re one of the few people whose dog loves wearing “people clothes” and different outfits. The good news for you? At this point, they can’t say it, so all they can do is think it!

“Get Rid of That Vacuum Cleaner!”

It’s true. Most dogs do not particularly like the vacuum cleaner. They might bark at it, snarl, or even try and chomp the sides of it! In other words, if they could talk, they might rant about how noisy it is, how it moves suddenly and unexpectedly, and how it smells!

Since dogs can hear sounds at higher frequencies and greater distances than humans, for them, the agitation is real! Dogs are also said to have a lower line of vision than humans, so the vacuum may appear aggressive.

Reassure them that “all is well,” and give them a quick pat on the back. It’s no big deal for us, but if our dogs could vocalize their opinion, they’d likely say the vacuum “has to go!”

“I Want That Squirrel!”

Does your dog have a favorite spot on the top of a couch or chair where they sit and look out the window? The likely answer is… yes! Oftentimes, they’re keeping a close eye on a squirrel who, in their mind, is “up to no good!”

It’s said that a squirrel’s quick movements are visually captivating for dogs, stimulating their natural chase instinct. For other dogs, chasing squirrels can be a form of play, as they enjoy the excitement of the pursuit.

Either way, these little creatures have a way of taunting dogs, as they dart from trees to fences and power lines, enticing their canine neighbors to chase them whenever they’re in sight!

“Hey! Why’d You Stop Rubbing My Belly?”

Talk about a classic doggy need – give me affection, rub my belly, scratch my back, do this, do that! Truth be told, I’ve never met a dog that doesn’t like belly rubs, and if they could talk, they’d let you know just how much they appreciate them.

Belly rubs show affection and trust! I once had a Pomeranian who would paw at my hand every time I would stop rubbing his belly; almost as if it was his way of saying, “Hey, keep going.

Why’d you stop that?” Every time, I’d oblige, as it was the cutest thing to witness. Dogs really do communicate, just in their own ways – they know what they want; it’s just getting us to listen that’s the tricky part!

“Get These Strangers Out of My House!”

Does your dog bark at every person who enters the home – especially those they aren’t familiar with? While certain training methods can help curb this behavior, maybe in their minds they’re saying, “Hey. I’m the protector of the home.

Who is this guy and why is he here?” Dogs bond with their families and sometimes insist their job is to keep you safe. So, they use their voices as best they can to let you know that “they’ve got this!”

While understandably an annoyance to dog owners, dogs consider their home as their territory and may bark to warn others off! If they could talk, maybe they would ask the strangers to leave, instead… politely, of course!

“Get Off Your Phone and Play!”

All too often, especially in today’s world, we find ourselves trying to multitask at home – being on our devices either for work or entertainment. It’s inevitable, but as we do, there sit our dogs, whining for our undivided attention and waiting for us to throw a ball, pet their heads, or let them lay on our laps and snuggle on the couch.

Can you blame them?

To dogs, we are their whole world, and it would make sense that they want to be our whole world as well. They have no interest in understanding our human, adult responsibilities, so of course, they give no thought to the reasons why we’re ignoring them. If dogs could talk, you can bet they would have plenty to say in letting us know exactly how they feel!

“Nope, Not Going Outside in That Cold!”

You laugh, but boy is this true! Now, granted, some dogs are born to LOVE the winter weather. Others? Not so much! If this holds true for your dog, you might notice they tiptoe outside or refuse to go out altogether.

We can only assume that when you try and lead them out on the snowy ground to “do their business,” they’re looking back at you thinking, “Nope. Not going. Not today!” What a funny world it would be if dogs could talk, as they adamantly express how they feel! Maybe we would want to know, but then again, maybe we wouldn’t! 

What Our Followers Say

So what do real dog owners think about this? What would their dogs say if they could talk? We wanted to know, so we posed this question to our followers on our Facebook page, and the answers were equally sweet and adorable!

Here are some of our favorite answers:

• Ann Marie Van Horn: “I love you, Mama.”
• James Leiser: “Come on, Dad, let’s go for a walk in the woods.”
• Keith Diller: “I have five (dogs). They would say, ‘We love you.’”
• Laura Smart: “I’m a Beagle. Be my friend. Come say hi to me!”
• Sheila Mum: “Take me home and be my mommy and love, hug, and kiss me forever. I love you, my mommy!”
• … and on the flip side, some dogs might be more honest than we’d like! Just ask Art T. Gonzalez, who wrote that his dog would say, “Leave me alone!”
  

Talk about honesty in the purest form! Everyone has their bad days and needs space, and it makes sense that our canine companions would, too! So tell us, what would you add to the list? Something about their everyday behavior? Playing fetch or going to the park?

Something more comical or curious? If you take a moment to think about it, we promise you’ll come up with a heartwarming combination of both hilarious and endearing conversations that might make you “paws” and think about your dog’s innermost thoughts!